Photo © Todd Gray

On Being a “Nonpartisan” Fan
By A.D., owner, FilthyTabloidTrash.com
January 8, 2011

As we move further into the process of Dr. Conrad Murray’s manslaughter trial, it is becoming more important than ever that the supporters, fans, friends and family of Michael Jackson put aside what may divide us and instead focus on standing united.

I’ve been a Michael Jackson fan for almost 30 years, and a Michael Jackson supporter for 17 of those years. Semantics, sure, but I make a personal distinction between the two—the former applies to the excitement I feel over Michael’s body of work and power as an performing artist (okay, and how cute he is and how I want to get married and start a llama farm together—in other words, the way I felt when I was 9 years old), and the latter has more to do with the way I began to identify myself in late 1993…when things suddenly got very, very serious. I support Michael Jackson. I am his fan, yes, but I also feel a responsibility to stand by him—in life, and now in death.

Before Michael died, I shied away from other supporters. Until the Internet gained widespread popularity, there would have been little chance that I’d encounter another fan, anyway—at least not after the early ’90s. No, being a fan and supporter of MJ was a lonely, defensive and angry existence, one fraught with pointless arguments and little time spent actually listening to his music. Although I did spend a good deal of time as an observer of the discussions of others’ (also known as being a “lurker”) on message boards and the like during the trial in 2005, it really wasn’t until June 2009 that I feel compelled to interact with other fans online.

Michael’s death hit me a lot harder than I ever could have imagined it would, and I found a lot of solace in talking about my feelings with others who understood how I was feeling, whether they’d been a fan for 40 years or 5 days. Within a few months, though, the inevitable fractures and divisions and cliques began to form, and I started to feel uncomfortable. I’m no stranger to Internet politics or to that special brand of nastiness that’s so easy for people to slip into when they’re anonymous, but that doesn’t mean that I want to be a part of it.

And so, I remain “nonpartisan” in my support of Michael Jackson.

It doesn’t matter to me whether or not his children are genetically related to him. It’s an argument not worth having. He was their father in every way that matters, and that’s the end of the discussion. No matter how many Mark Lester-types take a paycheck and a camera flash in exchange for salacious insinuation, Prince, Paris and Blanket will always be Michael’s children. I refuse to play Internet-geneticist or side-by-side-photo DNA analyst. No matter what the biological facts are, my reaction is always the same: More than anything else in the world, I’m just glad that Michael got to be a father. The end.

I don’t care how much plastic surgery Michael had or didn’t have. The last time I checked, his face was his to do with as he pleased. As he said himself, “Plastic surgery wasn’t invented for Michael Jackson”. There are far more important things to worry about. Michael was a beautiful man, inside and out, right up until the very end. No one else ever looked like him as a child, as a young adult, or as a 50-year-old man. Michael was Michael.

Buy it or don’t buy it, but don’t bully people who feel differently than you do about the new album, Michael. I didn’t buy it and I have no plans to (I haven’t even heard any of the songs on it), but that’s not because I’m taking part in some kind of grand boycott. I just have no need for it. I’m not worried about preserving Michael’s musical legacy—he took care of that himself decades ago—and I honestly just don’t want to be disappointed or let down. I’m already able to listen to years and years worth of incredible music that Michael toiled over and labored to make absolutely perfect. That’s all I need. Dayenu. That said, if another fan wants to buy the album and loves the songs and gets something positive out if it, I’m not about to accuse them of being a bad person or of violating Michael in some way. There’s a long, long road ahead of us that will be paved with Michael Jackson-branded albums, video games, clothing, amusement parks…who knows what. I have to accept that, because I can’t fight it. I find peace in the knowledge that Michael can still bring people happiness in new ways, even if it’s just the idea of his presence rather than his actual work.

I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll never know everything. From the internal dynamics of the Jackson family to the history of Michael’s use and abuse of prescription drugs; from the details of Michael’s relationships with women to the intricacies of his business dealings, there are always going to be aspects of history that I can never fully be privvy to. I have to be okay with that. As much as I think it’s unfair for the media to fill in the blanks with speculation, it’s also a mistake for fans to try to piece together a storyline to fit an imagined reality…and then to argue against those who have reached a different conclusion. It’s very easy to do that without even realizing it, but it’s unfair to Michael to assume we know more than we do.

That’s what I mean when I say I’m a “nonpartisan” supporter of Michael Jackson. I’m on Michael’s side. We all are. At the end of the day, we all want the same things: Justice to be brought to those directly responsible for Michael’s death; a wonderful, happy childhood and brilliant, productive future for Michael’s children; a media culture that recognizes the value of privacy and the need for ethical, fair reporting; and a sustained cultural legacy that fully recognizes the achievements of Michael Jackson as a father, a humanitarian, an African-American, a leader, a role model, a singer, a dancer…and as the greatest entertainer the world will ever know.

Take a step back the next time you feel compelled to argue about an unknown detail with another supporter, friend, or family member of Michael’s. Don’t point a finger out of a need to make yourself feel better, or to make them feel badly. All you’ll accomplish is a widening of the divide, and more anger directed at all the wrong people. We’re all angry and upset and sad that Michael is no longer with us, but we need to direct those emotions toward causes that can actually affect change and bring about real justice for Michael.

L.O.V.E. Pass it on.